In reality

I was reading Natalie's post and I was inspired by a part at the end that questions whether she is normal in her feelings about motherhood, stay at home mom life, etc. It caused me a moment's pause and to reflect on how we (mothers) view other people's lives, how we portray our own to the world and how we really are...in reality.
I believe that too many times we alienate ourselves from the support of others by presuming that we are all so different when in fact we are all so the same. I know that I have the same feelings about my children that 99% of mothers have every day. I also know that I certainly don't want to tell anyone that when that tiny, cute, priceless, three year old head peeked over the edge of my bed at 7 a.m. and said , "Mom, the sun is up" I did not melt into maternal bliss at how cute and priceless she was and how lucky I was to be her mom and be doing the most important job in the world. I really, really wanted to go to sleep for one more hour and live in my childless world for justonedaydeargodplease!!!!! I knew that moment was the start of yet another long, long day full of screaming and fighting and pinching and cooking and cleaning and monotony and the same thing over over and over and repetitive and redundant and bla, bla and if I was really lucky I would have a millisecond with each child that made at least some of it worth it. I don't want to post that on my blog. On some level in my mind I don't want the world to know that I live a real life that includes screaming, poop, laundry, public tantrums, crying, less than perfect vacations, resentment, anger, boredom, exasperation...all the stuff that I feel every single day!
So as a service to any mother that may feel isolated by her reality, by her feelings and experiences in motherhood I offer you some excerpts from my blog with a dash of reality thrown in...the italicized parts are the real, raw and uncensored REALITY of my life...here goes...

*Excerpted from "Leavin on a jet plane"...
4 days with no kids or husband in beautiful Scio, Oregon. Don't ask me where the hell I am going...I'm just along for the kid-free, husband-free, free-in-general cuz I'm going with my mom, ride.
If I don't leave this house in the next 24 hours with my mom I will leave by myself and never, never come back. I am on the verge of a serious breakdown if I have to be in the same zip code as my husband and kids for one more day!!!!!!!!!

*Excerpted from "Bloggers Block"...
I am alive but I am having bloggers block so I will leave you with a picture that is hopefully worth a thousand words. (picture of me in tiny Dodge go-cart)
I am having bloggers block because I am so depressed I can hardly get dressed and every time I look at this picture I think it will cheer me up but instead it makes me sad that I can't find that happy girl.

*Excerpted from "I had..."
Please know Corinna that my heart goes out to you. It makes me short of breath thinking of what you may be feeling.
I lay in bed awake almost every night thinking about death and it paralyzes me to think about my dad dying and then I lay awake longer feeling guilty because I don't get paralyzed over anyone else dying.

*Excerpted from "The owner of this blog said..."
The weather was gorgeous and it didn't rain until our last day so we went to the outlet mall, had some pizza and then headed off.
While we were at the outlet mall I only went into 3 stores because Jamie was so unbearably psychotic that every store I wanted to go into induced a fit that could rival that girl on the exorcist. We had to eat pizza at the house because there was no flippin' way I was taking that devil-child to a restaurant. And the ride home? She screamed bloody murder from Ontario to our driveway.

So there it is...guilt, anxiety, depression, nervous breakdown, less than perfect kids. It's all there, we all feel it, we all could benefit from being more honest. I know I feel better already!

Owners Mom

Thank you all for the B-Day wishes. Nothing like a little fishin to get some attention. Thanks again it was a good one.

The owner of this blog said...

I have a bazillion things to write about but I think I will break it down into a couple posts so you don't have to read a novel in one sitting...beach recap...

We had a really great time with Melissa and Gabe at the beach. The house was just a short walk to the beach and downtown and we put a lot of miles on our little umbrella strollers. We walked everywhere! We did drive one day to go ride horses and to Haystack Rock to check out the tide pools. We went to the aquarium, we played on the beach, we shopped, we ate and ate and ate. We took a couple of big long naps.....mmmmm napping. Good stuff.

Melissa and Gabe are fun and really easy to "live with". Isabel (their little monkey) is right in between Jamie and Olivia in age so they had a great time together. Their first day they all took a nap in the bunk beds, so cute! They had a blast playing on the beach together and hunting for yucky stuff that washed up. At the house they made up big elaborate games involving their suitcases and diapers...no toys necessary! And of course with Gabe there they had some "before bedtime dad craziness" that my kids sooo enjoy.

The weather was gorgeous and it didn't rain until our last day so we went to the outlet mall, had some pizza and then headed off. The drive home wasn't too bad. We broke it up into two days by staying in Pendleton but we were definitely ready to get home and out of the car.

It was fun and as always, I can't wait to get back! Hopefully we'll be able to take one more long weekend at the beach before the summer is over. I'll have to start harping on Jimmy now.....

Here are some pics...

They're Back!!

Okay, Sarah is home from her many journeys but still hasn,t had time to update. So sorry people you get me.

Yesterday was a great Father Day and also my youngest sons first anniversary. We went to brunch and out to Ste. Chappelle winery for a jazz concert. Beautiful day , great music and food. I love spending time with my kids and grandkids. My Joe has the funniest sense of humor and is so good natured. Reminds me why I married his Dad.

Today is my birthday. I'm fifty-one GASP!!. Oh shut up ,you will all be thankin your lucky stars to be as good at 50 as I am. All highway miles my friend. Also regularly scheduled maintenance a little body work, good as new.
Great day.My best bud took me to lunch and my husband took me to dinner. No cookin for me today.I have a love for good funny cards and I always get a slew of them. My husbands not good at shopping, so I usually get to pick my own present. Got my eye on a new camera.

Okay in 51 years I have learned a few things and I would like to share them with you.
1.Never take yourself too seriously.
2. Never say never. I have had to eat those words many times.
3.You will never look as good as you did then.
4.Don't look backwards too much it will make you run off the road.
5.You only get one day at a time so make the best of it.
6.Good manners are always in season.
7.Live your life like every ones lookin, cuz they are.
8.If you wouldn't say it in front of Pastor Floyd don't say it. ( Family Motto.)
9.Always tell the truth then you don't have to try to remember what you said.
10.Don't write a check your a-- can't cash.

Maybe not earth moving but wise. Happy Birthday to me.If you haven't sent my card or called yet I will receive cards and blessings until wed.10 p.m. Good Day. Pam O.

Hell-o This is Mom

Okay Sarah, once again you get your way. It,s not enough that I help with the kids, housework, laundry, errands, now I have to blog for you. Please tell me where I have gone wrong as a parent.HEEHEE. Okay you will get no pictures because I don't know how to do that yet.Just hang with me and let your mind create your own pictures. They will probably be better anyway.
We had a great time on the coast as usual. Lots of food and laughs and food and fun. I hope laughing burns calories because I could use the help. The girls were great for such a long road trip.JuJu did however become unruly at one point and tossed partially chewed grapes and a hair clippy at me while driving. She also announced that "you're mean and I'm not going to be your friend" several times during the trip. I have to say by day 3 I had to agree with her .However after a large bread bowl of chowder and a horse ride we kissed and made up. We are once again friends. JuJu is the female version of my oldest son Warren whom in spite of terrorizing me when he was a toddler grew into a wonderful,thoughtful ,intelligent man who still has the capabilities of causing terror in my life.Olivia is a dear but uses different tactics to get the vote. HMMM sound like (Sarah) someone else I know. They are gone this weekend camping and I miss them already.My house is quiet and clean and it will stay that way until they get home sunday night and stop by to see me. Twenty minutes later it will look like we had a full blown weekend party with dancers,food and a petting zoo. Welcome home my little darlings.
Have a wonderful weekend . Honor your fathers whether they are with you or not. They are the reason your here today. Good Day to all Pam O.

And she's off again...

I am leaving again tomorrow night after just two days at home...bleck! I am excited for the trip though! Jimmy and I and the kids are dragging Warren and Casey with us to Farragut State Park in North Idaho. It's gonna be a blast! We are all riding together in the Suburban. Warren and Casey are in for a treat...eight hours in the car with my kids! BWHAHAHA! When I get back I will post pictures of both trips. I'm trying to talk my mom into "guest posting" while I'm gone so maybe you all will get a mid-week treat and she can tell you about our trip to Seaside.

ah, summer...

I am lovin Ali Edwards mosaics! I made one myself to make me feel summer-y on this dreary day. Hope you enjoy it!

CHECK IT OUT!

How stinkin' cute is this apron girls?!?! This is the pattern and fabric I bought in Craft Warehouse when we were there last week. I gave it to my sister-in-law, Casey, so I had to take a pic of it before I gave it away. Do ya love it or what? It was pretty easy, aprons for everyone!!