Wednesday, November 12, 2008

January

Two years ago and last year

Two years ago...
I hate to even open this can of worms. If you were there and a part of it, I'm sorry for even bringing it up. If you weren't there, thank your lucky stars!

It's hard to believe, now, how much it consumed every inch of me. Looking back it seems a bit silly. I'm not trying to downplay it (because, jesus christ, that was a lot of money down the drain) but I also can look back on it and see that there were so many things that I could have done to make it less stressful.

I think I can honestly see it with enough detachment to realistically assess what I took away from it and I have to say that this is the NUMBER ONE thing: STOP TALKING!
Do not let every word that comes out of your mouth be about the thing that is causing so much trouble.

I think that the thing I was most relieved about when it was all over was that I didn't have to talk about it to every single person in my life. Every time I saw my mom and dad, every conversation I had with Jimmy, every conversation with my in-laws, everyday, over and over again. Every detail was re-hashed, every conversation dissected, every dollar scrutinized, every scab ripped open over and over again. It was all so ugly and hurtful and most of the time it was absolutely pointless.

I hope I remember this experience when there comes a time in my life where I have to deal with a really difficult thing that everyone wants to talk to you about. I know there is value in talking. I love to talk. I like to get other peoples' perspective and I really like to hash out a problem with the view point of 2 or 3 people. But it's a fine line. A razor thin one where one side is good 'ol talk therapy and the other is this mind numbing inability to do anything but talk about it. Sometimes I think I would still be just talking about it if my dad hadn't said, "It's done. It's over. We can't save it. Walk away, baby" I would still be on that sinking boat and I'd have probably been on it by myself.

Ok, enough of that.

Last year...

Definitely doing the Winter Solstice Party again.

(Warren, wouldn't it be cool if the Caddy was done in time to do cookies in the church parking lot again??)

4 comments:

Your daddy said...

I hear ya sweetie, I was just talking with someone today about that whole mess. It`s just about over. I sometimes think how much worse it could have been if we had not cut it loose then.
Ask me how and what transpired today. It (also) is not for all your readers.
The fat lady has not sung yet!

N*88 said...

Umm, If it makes you feel better, N* is operating in the black. Maybe you can be a bike messenger someday. You proved your worthiness on the tandem.

Corinna said...

Sarah,

From one that was in the mess for a time. I totally know what you mean about "stop talking". I am sorry you and your family and so many other people got hurt. I am grateful that time of my life to have long passed... such a toxic enviornment. Truly sad that things went down like they did.

darcie said...

Hey Sarah, good chatting with you last weekend-and OMG that JuJu purse is SO fabulous!!

Glad to hear that "the mess" is almost over for you & your family!!