Thursday, September 6, 2007

One of those sissy parents

Today I became one of those parents that I used to roll my eyes at before I became a parent. You know how everyone is an expert parent when they aren't one? Well I was one of those to the extreme. So judgemental, so absolute in my opinions, black and white, cut and dried. In my eyes there were so many things that parents did that were so stupid. And so obviously stupid that it befuddled me how they ever made it past junior high with their glaring lack of common sense. I can not tell you how many time I said, "I will never do that."
When I became a parent I got my first lesson in "never say never" by my 2nd sleepless night. In a sleep deprived stupor I stumbled from my nicely appointed breastfeeding chair and into my bed, child in arms. There we slept, all three us snuggled together, Olivia in the middle, for an entire year! Olivia never slept in her own bed a single day until Jamie was born 13 months later.
So today I sat in the office of Jamie's school and repeatedly sent the administrative assistant down to check on her while I cried. All because she cried a little when I left.
I have said to hundreds of parents (well maybe not hundreds but dozens) "She will be just fine in five minutes. I will reassure her that you are coming back, she will get engaged in play and she will be just fine. If you need me to (insert serious eye rolling) I will call you in a little while. Go ahead and go to work or whatever it is that you are doing." What I meant was, "Oh my god lady, get a grip, go to work and do not sit in the office and send someone down here to check on her repeatedly."
Well I did it and I can now say that I know why they all did it and now I feel bad for being so judgemental and harsh.
I will have to look back on this post later because I think that even after you become a parent and you realize how different it is, you still sometimes sit in judgement of other's parenting. Sometimes we parents of preschoolers judge parents of teenagers because we have no idea how it is to be one. I promise I'll try to remember!


Kathleen said...

Sarah, it takes a real woman to admit being so judgmental. We all do it you know. It's going to be fun watching you become the parent of teenagers. Thanks for letting me voyeur.

gabe said...

Wow, haven't experience it but I think next year Melissa and I will.

Hey on another note, when can your husband take me out to shoot stuff.


sara :) said...

Every day I end up saying something and then sit back in horror because I realize I just said something my mom used to say and I swore I'd never say to my kids! You're only human. :)

Sarah said...

Gabe...we usually go while the kids are in church on Sunday but since you're there too, we could go a different time if you really want to go.

Pam O. said...

As the parent of 3 lovely grown children , somehow I still have to eat my words. My infamous words were" If those were my kids I'd blah,blah,blah".... Remember they're not your kids.... take care of your own the best you can. I'm sure that will keep you busy enough.

Anonymous said...

You are a doll for admitting that you "do" and "say" the things that you said..."you never would" when becoming a parent. But what is really the best thing...the very greatest thing to that.....ALL those things that you "do" do that your Mom did with you...will filter into your life as such possitive things and remembered so well with sincerity and love...warmth and respect...because they are things that are embedded in you and will remain with you always.
"There is not a warmer love than that of a Mother's smile, given to a tearful child."
I commend you for admitting the thing we have all said in our lives. Welcome to the "Club of Mommies" you understand my dear you understand....:o)
Hugs from the desert.....