My baby turned 4 yesterday.
I can clearly remember the day I found out I was having her. If you do the math from my previous posts you'll realize that Olivia and Jamie are 13 months apart and (no offense to anyone who DID plan it) no one in their right mind would plan on having kids that close together.
It was the first week in July and Olivia was just starting to do a little scooting around on her belly and getting up on her hands and knees to crawl. I sat and watched her for what seemed like hours and thought, "If I don't take a pregnancy test and I never find out for sure then it won't actually be happening." I was THAT terrified. It could have been that same day or maybe the next that I finally called my friend, Jen, and told her I thought I was pregnant.
My memories right here are a little foggy...we went to Walgreens together or maybe she went alone..but an hour or so later there we are in my bathroom looking at that stick with the two lines and I can not think any thought but, "FUUUUUUUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!" (sorry mom)
Jen just happened to work at the medical imaging center so she very calmly (yeah right) said, "Lets go down and see how far along you are. Maybe you are just pregnant and they'll be about 18 months apart. That's not so bad."
Fast forward to me and the ultrasound technician:
"So, how far along do you think you are?"
"Oh, about 4 months."
Raised eyebrow, "Really?"
"Yep, that was the last time I had sex"
"Well, lets just see here."
Puts the gel on my tummy, presses the wand thing-y to my tummy and instantly says,
"WHOA! You weren't kidding!"
I'm pretty sure that I immediately started crying.
"Well, it's a girl and you are about 18 weeks along" (THAT'S ALMOST HALFWAY!)
Fast forward over the next very terrifying several months and here's the part where it gets maybe too honest.
I would like to say that I got over it and that by the time Jamie was born I was the picture of serenity but the truth is that I wasn't. I was just as scared on the day she was born as I was way back in July.
I was sure that there was no way in hell that I could take care of two babies.
My mom never left my house without all three of us in tow for a week straight. I cried all the time. I couldn't eat, couldn't sleep and I'm pretty sure that my mom made me take a shower.
Gradually things got better and ever so slowly I found out that I was quite capable of taking care of two kids. (Wait a minute? Don't I do this for a living?) And I found out that I was capable of some pretty amazing things. Things that you see in a movie. Baby attached to left breast, one hand changing a diaper and the other hand holding the phone.
And now.... How boring would my life would be without my beautiful, quirky, hilarious JuJu?
She keeps me on my toes, that one.
To my Wittle JuJu Wogers:
Happy birthday little softie. I love you so much. I can't believe I get to be your mommy. You are just so darn cool.
Every time you find the crazy in the mundane, I think, "How did I ever live without you to bring so much life to my life?" You make every day an adventure and an exercise in arms wide open pure joyful living. YOU are the girl that I would pick to go dancing in the rain with.
I love you baby and I can't wait to live another year with you...you get funnier every day!