Thursday, April 12, 2007

FUNK

I don't know why it happened. The moment I walked in the front door of my house after having dinner with some friends on my birthday I could feel it descending on me. The funk. It happens. It's OK. I don't need medication or psychotherapy. It will last about one more day. I have several theories about why it happened but I know that these conditions exist in my life all the time and are not the reason for the funk they are just exacerbated by the funk. Someday I will figure out the pattern and maybe I will overcome or at least see it coming and I will stock up on chocolate and clean pajamas.

Do other people get the funk? I'm sure they do. This is what my funky condition consists of...

*I hate my husband because I am overworked, underappreciated, he never does nice thoughtful things for me, he thinks of me as his maid/nanny/sex slave and not as a human being with needs, he made me have these kids and quit my job and become a worthless blob of maid/nanny/sex slave. He gets to live out his dream of owning his own business while I mope around in my pajamas as his maid/nanny/sex slave.
* My children are eating animal crackers, marshmallows and easter candy as a snack and I don't care.
* I have sat at the computer reading dooce archives for three hours only getting up to make my kids breakfast, put a movie in the DVD player and pee. (They got the snack on their own)
*I have consumed massive amounts of jelly beans and chocolate
* When my husband asks me what is wrong I won't tell him because I know that I am crazy and the fight that will ensue when I accuse him of all the aforementioned things will possibly result in me calling my dad so I can borrow his truck to pack my shit up and move the hell out of here! Then when my dad tells me to "get a grip and go home" I will feel really stupid because all the things I accused my husband of are totally not true they are just a product of my overactive crazy lady thing I got goin' on here.
* I know I am crazy but that is comforting to me because if I didn't know I was crazy then I wouldn't have the self control to avoid doing crazy things like mentioned above. (One time I didn't know I was crazy and that thing above actually happened except when my dad told me to get a grip and go home I didn't feel stupid I felt enraged and crazier than ever...but I didn't know I was crazy because I was so over the top hormonal and deeply entrenched in postpartum depression)
So...that's about how I am feeling today. Don't worry...my kids aren't being neglected, I will put clean pajamas on before I go to bed tonight and by the time I go to bed Friday night I will be all better. If I'm not....my mom will smack me and then I'll feel better.

5 comments:

corinna said...

Sarah,
1. Eat more chocolate.
2. Remember the sun will come out tomorrow.
3. Your kids will be fine.
4. Good thing to keep your "crazy" thoughts away from the said husband. Unless you need a good fight to clear the air.
5. I believe you have either one of two things going on here...
a. another year older syndrome.
or b. PMS.
Either way... refer to #1.
6. Hugs to you.

MOM said...

Hello crazy girl child,
Let me define funk for you. You have franticaly cleaned every inch of the house with bleach and a tooth brush,invited 12 people for a sit down 6 course meal,mowed the grass and paid bills.....Then you melt down because your husband comes in the house wearing shoes, your guests woof down your lovely meal without even tasting it and the neighbors dog poops smack dab in the middle of your yard on top of the only dandelion with enough nerve to show up in your zip code.Thats when I pick up the classifieds to look for my new job,new house and make the rational decision never to speak to any of those @#$%^^ people again.Living alone and reclusive sounds like the perfect lifestyle suitable for myself.Then one of my lovely girls will call and say "lets go trampin grammy" and VIOLA, I am a new woman with renewed purpose in life and a reason to go on another day.Decision is made to let my man if if for no other reason than I need to be free from prision to enjoy my new found life.Then theres that still small quiet voice that whispers "get over it girlfriend". Thats the one I would like to choke cuz shes always right.At least my husband has the good sense to vanish under the guise of work. Don't worry Jimmy will get smarter, you'll get calmer and no ones kids were ever ruined by junk food. You Miss Dorito are living proof. Cin up and lets go TRAMPIN!!! Love mom

mom said...

Sorry I was writing so fast I meant let my man live, not if if.
And chin up, not cin up ooops.mxvztt

Corinna said...

Pam,
***giggle***
sure you meant live.
(wink wink) really...
Come on now... isn't "if if" better!
ROTFLMBO!!!!!

Courtney said...

You and your mom so rock!! Hope you are feeling better.